Glastonbury Festival - A Guide

Guide to Glastonbury Festival.  
I have been attending Glasto for the last 30 years on and off. I’ve worked for various organisations and attended as a punter. Therefore, I like to think I have lots of experience of the greatest festival on the planet.  
Arriving in Somerset. 
You arrive in Glastonbury area, and even before you spy Pilton (the nearest village) you will get stuck in traffic. It has improved massively over the years, but this is where the bucolic vibe needs to kick in. You have to sit it out. You can try and avoid it by getting down as early as possible. People queue over night on the Tuesday/Wednesday night. Actually queue, there’s a party. (so, I hear) As I now live about 30 mins from site, we have left home about 6.00am. That way we will be on site as the gates open. (is the plan) As you approach the festival usually from the western side of the village of Pilton, you will be directed to a car park in a field. You can’t choose your space. If you have friends in the car behind, they might get directed to another field.  Make sure you have your ticket so at least you can get in! 
Now,  I’m looking at all those Londoners reading this. You need to chill the fuck out. What happens at Glasto, happens, it is how you deal with it that is the important bit.  
You will walk along way. Miles. If you get out of your car and think ‘OK I’ve got my rucksack and cool box, tent, sleeping bag. Its just a trip from the car to the festival site’ – this can be 2 miles. Arms can get tired and sometimes you can queue stopping and starting in a zig zag. Do you really want to be picking up and putting down your stuff? A small trolley might be the way to go.  
We are trolley people; I’m not going to recommend one that’s up to you 😊 I don’t travel light – I’m nearly 50 so I doubt I ever will. If you are already in your wellies (big and bulky take up lots of room in a rucksack) you may well get welly rub before you set up your tent. You need long socks – knee length. If it is a wet one, you’ll live in your wellies. I would recommend a clean pair of socks every day.    
When you get on site, through the wrist-banding station, you will be given a programme and Guardian guide on a lanyard to wear round your neck. Contains the important line up and a very basic map. Don’t lose it. They sometimes come in a very handy cotton bag. – They didn’t last time.  
The Site 
As you’ve probably seen from the map, the site is the site, what I’m trying to say is its not a festival with an arena. Its one whole space. Camping has been moved back to the edges over the years. My first year I camped in the pyramid stage field, you can’t camp where we did anymore; Kylie needs the audience space.  
The site is fairly easy to navigate, there is a line of pylons that run across the valley, below the farm and above the pyramid stage. The stone circle at the other side. To west of the stone circle is the Hollywood style Glastonbury sign. The Farm house is North – Lost Property, sanity etc. The Stone Circle/Park Ribbon Tower and the Glasto sign are south. In previous years its fun being on the hill in the field with the pyramid stage in and looking out across the site towards the park tower. The now retired Arcadia spider would practise its fire breathing and you can see it from all sorts of places. They have something new this year; Its called Pangea.    There is a rumour it might make fire too.  We will have to wait and see. 

Camping
 If you can, go high, people talk of the hill of death, dragging their kit up the side of a hill can take it out of someone! The site is in a U-shaped clay lined valley; the opening of the U faces the Tor. The Tor is 5 miles away. Hippies talk of ley-lines, apparently there is one that goes from the Tor to the Pyramid. If you’ve ever seen the pics of tents with water up to their roofs that’s the bottom of Pennards Hill as it gets to the railway track. (no trains, great through-fare) Don’t camp there unless its guaranteed dry. The other problem with this U-shaped clay lined valley is that it traps rain clouds. The site drainage has improved year on year, but you can’t argue with geology.  
Once the tent is up (practise if you can) the drinking and partying can begin. Make friends with your neighbours that way you can look out for each other.  
I’d say you must:-
Chillax, party, discuss, be nice to people, don’t shove through crowds, this isn’t London Bridge at rush hour. Apologise to those people you accidentally bump into. Be more Somerset, more bucolic, 
Personal Hygiene, wet wipes, clean pants and socks, you can boil water and wash in it – about a mug full. If you need to; there are showers in the Greenpeace field, but you do need to queue for a while and you might miss some action. Dry shampoo and hats hide hideous hair. Don’t bother with straighteners. Battery powered hair dryers etc. (if there is such a thing) 
Take batteries for your phone, some descent protection for it too. (Waterproofing & shock-proofing) just in case you drop it in a puddle. You can charge it at the EE tent, but the queues can be long.  
Pick loo roll up from the lock ups. Good place to leave your car keys too – Its free. We also take some packets of tissues for day time.  
What to wear?
Layers – It can be hot, cold, windy, wet. I’ve spent Glastos in a woolly hat. Don’t wear Jumpsuits. Being virtually naked in the rain in a long-drop is not the greatest thing. Shorts can cause thigh rub sequin shorts even more so. You’ll need something waterproof. For the last couple of years, I’ve used a cyclist style poncho. Its good because if you are wearing a bag it can go straight on over your head.  
On the subject of wet clothes; I saw something from Bear Grylls on survival. If your trousers are wet don’t sleep in them. Have something dry to sleep in. You can wear the wet ones during the day. And eventually they will dry! 
I know I’m not the best person to give fashion advice, I’m a fat nearly fifty goes for comfort over style type. But observations of younger friends and other festival goers has shown me the way. Dressing up – Lots of make up is good, glitter is good if its biodegradable.  Unlike other festivals there is no particular day to do it either.    
Footwear - I will be taking a pair of walking boots and a pair of wellies this year. I like crocs too I’ll slide mine in – can be handy for a midnight flit to the loo. This can also be dependent on the weather. – But I don’t need to tell you that! No heels not unless you want to break your ankle. The ground is not flat. Trainers if its dry. Top tip – Leave a clean pair of shoes in your car to drive home in. Yes yes I know people travel down on public transport but the tidying of these is not your issue.  
Don’t stay near the pyramid – explore. Go to the stone circle, go find the man that makes candle powered boats. Make a ring in the craft field. The theatre and circus fields are quite mind bending. The South East Naughty Corner even more. On Lauren Lavernes show yesterday Emily Eavis talked about the Icon field that is new this year having a giant head peering out over the hedge. The Tiny Tea Tent is great too. (Tea in proper mugs)   
Take bottles to put water in, single use plastic and glass is a big no-no. Use steel bottles especially if they contain spirits. We take several with pre-mixed drink in.  
Take lots of cash some places take cards, the bars do; the new co-op probably will. Store cash at the bottom of your sleeping bag. There have been incidents in the past of people breaking into tents with hot wire.   
The full line up is now out – I’ve seen on social media examples of manic stage planners wondering what to do when a band you don’t like is on. This is your opportunity to explore. I’d go as far to say that explore, discover, chill, and if you have time, see a band. If you really really like someone go and see them at their own gig. You can leave all that FOMO stuff behind too. Your Glastonbury is yours. You might make new friends, I certainly did, I live with one. You might not have been there when David Bowie played on the Pyramid, but you will have been in the circus field watching someone pull something out of their unmentionables.  
Oh, and when you go home take all of your gear with you. If you must leave something behind put it in a bin. The campsite crew will give you rubbish bags both recycling and black.  
Love the farm, leave no trace – The cows will thank you for it. 

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